This Is The End Results Of All The Bright Lights; The Eye In The Sky Is Watching Us All.

I admire people who has reached the top of their game.

How many times have we dangle with the idea of reaching the top. It all seems harder to achieve than just dreaming about it. Without motivation, one can get nowhere. Which is why I’m always amazed when I see the finest people in a particular group, excelling in their hobby, their profession.

From young I used to admire the cream of the crop, the people at the top whom almost perfected their skills in that particular area. We’ll never be perfect, or to perfect something, but for those who try, we’ll be as close to it as it ever gets. And to be the closest, to nearly grasp perfection in one’s hand and conquer it, that will be the greatest satisfaction one could ever get. I wanted to be a daring cyclist, but the closest I could get was a crappy neighbourhood bike with no gears to slap me in the face and bring me back to reality.

That doesn’t stop me from daydreaming, because admiration for the love of life is what makes me tick. I like to live in depth, I think many people nowadays are wasting their lives away in mindless self indulgence, following the trend, directionless people who are always thinking of having more fun, thinking of the clubbings and parties the next moment. That doesn’t mean I don’t indulge in this kind of activities, just not excessively. I seek enjoyment, to let my hair down, de-stress and for the perfect stranger. I’m not walking into the club thinking I’m definitely gonna get laid tonight, thinking to grab the next hot chick butt, and thinking of going there every other day. I think there’s gotta be more to life than that. The comparison is clear, it’s like fine dining and binge eating, and yes, there’s a difference. There too, is a difference between people. People are the same, just like a specific activity. But ultimately how we choose to live our life – or complicate it is different, just like how different we indulge in that specific activity.

I anticipate encounters with people that has depth. In my entire life I think I’ve probably met 2, both girls, and not exactly the prettiest thing. I’m not being rude, but those 2 sometimes start me thinking, is it really because they are ugly, and therefore they seek further in the purpose of life?
I mean, I’m not gonna go into a whole lot of shit in spiritual living, that’s not the point, but somehow I just feel, they probably thought to themselves, Do I really need to be beautiful to be able to live life to the fullest?
In this bias world, somehow I think I’ll never be able to live long enough to find out.  Another thing I realised, they are both loners. Well not exactly those type with no fucking friends at all, those are extreme, they still show up for birthday parties and such, and are darlings to talk with, pretty sociable, but loners as in, they like to spend time alone. They don’t crave attention, they seek other forms of spotlights which they can still feel happy without having to show their faces, musical talents for example. You can be behind a curtain and still get an applause from the audience. They enjoy capturing moments, photography, and one thing I noticed, photography with life in it. Be it a butterfly at work, or the highest point of the world. Not necessary lifeform, but things created by life, things that are dynamic, full of energy, full of color. They remain optimistic in life, and they rarely indulge in love. I think maybe to them it’s a bonus, never an obligation. And their knowledge is immense. I thought I had a good grasp on history, but someone corrected me on the life of Adolf Hitler. I thought I would understand politics, but someone taught me to look at the civilians, and not the officials. On a long enough timeline, you start to appreciate people for their character, and not their good looks. With that admiration of life and the people, I’ll start into the next level of life, the profession that we man manifest into.

Some people are good in what they do, they excel in their hobbies, their profession. They dedicate every minute to improving themselves, even though they might already be the best. Here’s a few classes of people that I appreciate on the highest esteem.

Anglers

I admire anglers, because fishing is something which really require skills. Either you master it, or you go home with an empty catch. It’s as simple as that. And the profundity that comes with it is immense, it’s techniques require patience to master. Fishing wants you to live and breathe it, to know the different types of hook that gives different leverage over the catch, to know the kind of fishing line, to know how to put the bait on the hook, a bait that is hastily tied will only result in it coming loose and eventually drop, to know the different types of rod and the number of categories they have.
In the past I often looked at the old birds- ah pehs wearing singlets and slippers, riding a bicycle, with their equipments; often cheap but effective products, and I wonder, would I someday be able to learn all their knowledge on the game itself. It isn’t that hard, but to reach the top of the game, you have to dedicate. Thats also one thing I love about fishing. The people. I think there is a mutual respect among anglers, and often there is this boredom when waiting for the catch, and we end up chatting with the whole 30-40 people on the jetty. By the end of the day, we’re all freakin’ best friends. They gather if someone has a big catch, and the more experienced ones often render help on how to reel it in. Even those reclusive and quiet ones at the corner will throw you smiles as compliments, elevating your sense of achievement for that particular catch.

Directors

I admire directors. It’s not easy directing a movie, and alot of people do not know that. I swear that when I first tried my hand on directing a short film, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. On top of that you have budget issues, unruly actors, and sometimes you even have production crew doubting whether the whole thing would work. You have to edit your footage after in post production, which is equally hellish. The next time you watch a movie or drama serials, look at the angles carefully. Every time there’s a change in the angle, it means it was a different shot as either the camera was shifted or there was two different cameras running. It was just editted in to make it look seamless as if it was one continuous shot, but behind the scenes a normal dialogue scene in a restaurant could take days to complete. Now you know why a two hour movie can take a year or two to complete.
But there too is a great accomplishment in this profession.
Nowadays, the films are easier to direct, most of them action films which relies more on their story itself. Just try watching In The Mood For Love by Wong Kar-Wai or any Tarantino/Scorsese old films. They rely more on the directing than a car which can transform into a talking robot. Film appreciation is slowly becoming a lost art, with many moviegoers looking when they go into a cinema for the storyline solely, love stories/comedies etc, which is why some of the best movies are not big box office performers. While the storyline is an important aspect of the movie, the emphasis is way more than just that, the actors, the directing, all contributes in part to making a movie enjoyable. Don’t believe me? Try watching Brian De Palma’s Scarface. While the movie itself was nothing impressive, Al Pacino performance made it a movie worth watching. It’s like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, nothing impressive with the movie, but the actor makes it magical.

Hunters

I admire Hunters. I used to watch documentaries showing the Big Five Game, coined by professionals as the toughest five animals to hunt. That somehow sparked my early interest in this sport. Man still retains a primal hunger, to prove our superiority, to be the fittest of the fittest, and I believe Hunting is the most conventional way we indulge in.
However, due to the volatile nature of the sport, with the increased satisfaction often brings higher downsides as well. I once read a story(read previous post), there once lived a very good hunter. There comes a point where he felt appalled with the sport. Why? Because he was perfect (Self perceived perfection in my opinion, you can come close, but you’ll never be god). He’s reach the top of the game, and he has never contemplate that before. Suddenly hes thrown to the point where he does not know what to do. Until one day, he would start capturing prostitutes and release them in the wild, proceed to stalk them and kill them. Sadly, this story is real. Remember Count Zaroff? He’s perfect, but he’s fiction. This Count Zaroff copycat self perceived himself to be perfect, and this perception eventually led to his arrest when one of his victims escaped. In the past I only find disgust for people like him, people like the Zodiac killer in the 1960s,  but now, I probably find a little bit of sympathy and understanding. I’m not saying I support their actions, I see beyond just a side of things, there is a greater impact, its not just killing one person, its killing one person and hurting his wife, his daughter, his son, his family. I’m saying, when you come close to being perfect, there’s this scary thought that to achieve mastery would mean to devoid all satisfaction you can get from that hobby, and it drives people to act, to prevent themselves from being perfect, because then, there would be nothing left to be worth fighting for. If everytime I throw a hook into the water, I know that I’m gonna catch a fish, I would probably give up fishing, because then there is no fun in it. If everytime I pull that trigger, I know I would never miss, I would probably stop hunting. If each time one looks in a mirror, and is already perfect in beauty, she would probably stop putting makeup. That’s the irony I see, we strive to be perfect, but we never want to attain it.
That doesn’t mean I don’t love the game, Hunting is probably one of the best sports I love, the profession, but I’d never be a hunter, because I don’t have the chance. I’ll never reach the top of the game, because there is nothing to hunt in Singapore. I would have wished to be born in New Zealand, to live a cowboy life on a cattle ranch, fall in love, and lead a simple life. In Singapore, I’m already born with responsibilities, but since I can’t change my fate, I might as well recreate it. Someday I would probably go to New Zealand, and stay in the wild for 25 days, at a place devoid of civilization, with a gun and other basic amenities. There, I would write everyday about my experiences on a blog, about the difference of life in a city and in the wild, of survival in a harsh environment. I would love to hunt a wild boar tooth, which symbolises pure strength, raw power and manhood in tribal cultures.

Religious Followers

I admire people with faith, I really do. People with faith are overall better persons, because most religion offers to bring out the best of people, to correct them from the path of wrongdoings, to lead them to the right way. Most, I won’t say all, religious followers are better morally and spiritually, they ain’t confused, they practise the teachings of the religion, and they adhere to the set of ethics. But somehow, despite the admiration, I can’t quite wrap my lips around it to say that I am a religious follower. I am an agnostic atheist, and I’m not going to express my views on whether there is a supreme one, or the different types of religion, because I think I would offend a hell lot of people. Religion is a sensitive topic. And there is nothing that will diffuse this situation so far- it’s like a fence, on one side you have people claiming to have found the truth, inviting you over to join their spiritual journey, while on the other side you have people who reject all thoughts of the idea, claiming it to be a fake scam, choosing to carry on with their life as it is. For me? I think I would probably be sitting on the fence, observing the situation on both sides. I still don’t believe in one, but show me proof and I’ll change my mind. I’m more of a man of science, and so far science is proving to me that there is no god, or at least our opinion of god is flawed.  I once read an interesting article, which states that our opinion of god may be flawed. Put simply our gods might just be a race of pure humans who’s put us here on Earth for us to evolve, a civilization with no illness or death. The concept is fresh, and offers a new take on this debate that has been ongoing for hundred of years. And it seems like it will carry on for a long time as well.

Magicians

I admire magicians. They are probably the most secretive types of people, and they have a good reason for it. Most magicians form guilds and clubs, inner circles where they discuss and share skills of the trade, and I’ve always wanted to join one of this someday and learn all of their tricks. I believe this is one of the hardest profession to master as well, not to mention being at the top. Magicians are simply wonderful entertainers, that perform feats that is seemingly impossible to the human eye, and I love them for that.

A scene from The Prestige detailing their act.

And the man whom I admired the most in trickery, the great magician Harry Houdini. He was well known for his daring acts, which on a few occasions he nearly paid for with his life. He was considered a pioneer in acts which required him to escape from confined areas, from being buried in the sand to trapped underwater. Here’s a man who is so dedicated to his profession, he has inspired countless of people into the profession for generations after his death. Some of his best tricks still remain a mystery today, and the secrets were never uncovered as to how he did it.
Isn’t it wonderful if we all had a few magic tricks up our sleeves to surprise our loved ones on bad days? The best magic trick I’ve seen was one where a magician starts folding a piece of paper into a rose, then with a flick of his wrist makes the whole thing erupts in fire, and hola, a real rose appears. Talk about real guys like me working hard to win a woman’s heart, magicians are cheats compared to us okay. So if there’s any magicians reading this please feel free to contact me to impart a thing or two to keep things in equilibrium!

Musicians

I admire musicians. I think music is probably one of the things that could never go wrong with people. We may come from all walks of life, but we all have a passion for tapping along with the tune. I’m a sucker for music, I think it adds flavour to life. I have a weird brand of music though, I think it’s kinda influenced by my peers when I was growing up. I like oldies, and a handful of bands from present. I do listen to other types of music, just not a diehard fan of those genres.  Alot of my friends are fans of house, trance, R&B, because they go clubbing. I think it’s kinda common, like following the trend, but well, to each his own I guess. I’ve always wanted to create my own band, but it’s harder because it’s more of a group thing. In fact my first attempt in creating a band ended quite badly, and it was not just the band that disbanded, the friendship we had kind of disappeared after that as well. I hate to lose my friends, and it’s always sad that such things do happen, but some things are just part and parcel of life. I would love to go back to music someday just for the fun of it. Some people say I daydream too much, but I think having dreams, even though some might be silly, is part of my life as well. You can’t ask me to stop breathing, can you?
Maybe, just maybe, I could be on that stage someday, to give a performance, and to receive an applause.

Skydivers

I admire Skydivers. Skydivers have guts. They don’t chicken out 50,000 feet in the air, and they reap the rewards of that experience from making the leap. I once had a phobia for heights, you know. Back in my primary school days I didn’t dare to try rock climbing or standing on poles during adventure camps. I’ve long overcame it, which I partly attribute towards having an admiration for sky-diving. Some people can’t conquer their fears, because they always fear when there are risks involved- what if my parachute don’t open up? what if i faint halfway? You don’t want to look back in your life when you are 60 years old and go, how I wish I’d have made that jump. I say, just make that leap of faith, and you’ll find yourself an experience of a lifetime.

Artists

I admire artists. I used to be fascinated with the golden age renaissance of art, wondering why pieces of art from that era can be sold for millions of dollars today. Art used to elude me, I couldn’t seek the beauty of it, and the more I look at it, the more ordinary it seems to me. But ordinary is a form of art itself, it is to express, to convey, thoughts manifesting into color and paint. I’ve since gone a long way when it comes to appreciating art, just like I’ve found out that many things in life have about the same concept. Unpolished diamonds are diamonds nonetheless, they just need that someone to bring that shine out of them, and they will be the most dazzling pretty little things one can see with the naked eye. Why have we eluded so many raw gems in life? For they are visible to only the strongest of people, and I aim to find all the treasures of life. I’ve found a few, and they can be everywhere. It’s like a bottle of red wine, you need to take your time to savour it to bring out the true flavour.
I admire the man in the picture. Vincent van Gogh. He was a troubled man, a man who was denied love, a man who relied on his brother, a man who was outcast by society, a man who could not get medical attention, a man who finally shot himself in a wheat field. He died a nobody, but today he’s widely regarded as one of the world best artists. One could see that towards the end, he was suffering and was tormented, his paintings devoid of life, morbid and gloomy. Strangely I think that his last few artworks were masterpieces, drawn by a man who was looking at death in the face. A man so tortured by life, so understood by few, he chose the ultimate way out. This is a direct contrast to the life I wanted, if my outlook of life was white, then his was black. The only thing we had in common was that we both wanted to find ways to express oneself. Vincent van Gogh used painting to express himself, while I chose literature. It’s a strange coincidence that I had interest and took art when I was 8, but despite undergoing training my doodles look like crap (literally). They would probably be at it’s best lying somewhere on the table in a nursery classroom.

Actors

I admire Actors. Beneath that mask, you’ll never really know who they are. They might even be acting their way through life for all I know. But thats the thing, isn’t it? Who isn’t performing an act in life? We act in front of people to get them to like us. Have you ever had different people giving different accounts describing you? We don’t treat every single person the same way, and we all have a way of telling that person how we feel towards them, you can be hostile to a person you dislike, or be quiet around him, or just act friendly.  Some people say I’m a sociable and outgoing person, while others say I’m softspoken and mysterious, and they’re not lying. We put up fake faces and throw plastic smiles. The question is, who is the better actor? For them, they are the best in the business, and I admire them for that.
Like the great poet William Shakespeare once wrote in a play of his-

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.

How shockingly accurate this line is, mirroring the life which we are all a part of. We are all performers, for audiences we might not even recognise. We change our faces so fast, we probably have 5-6 different personality. One for your boss, one for your family, one for your perfect stranger. It’s like setting up different shields to protect the real you, and the closer one gets in any kind of relationship, the more shields one penetrate. Funny how guys always mention, that their wife seems to change the moment they got married. Lazy, don’t do the dishes, likes to eat, etc. I guess girls could almost say the same for guys as well. Dirty, leave clothes lying about, likes to game, etc. Funny how this habits seem to “pop” up from nowhere after marriage. The best actors can cheat their way through, while the lousy ones get their acts exposed halfway through. Acting is presentation, like how women put makeup, our generation is one where we no longer dress for comfort and warmth, we dress to look good, to look smart, to look sexy. That’s not a bad thing because our generation is one that’s bold, but I’m just amazed by how fast the world turns and changes.

Howard Hughes

The last admiration on the list is not a profession, nor a hobby, he is a man. He was an inventor, an adventurer, an aviator, an industrialist, an engineer, a multi-billionaire, a movie director, a philanthropist and a womanizer. Some of you may not know him. He was the Bill Gates of our time, appearing annually in the world richest list of Forbes, a colorful man who was sensationalise by the media. Even as a kid he showed talent in certain areas, creating his own radio transmitter at 11 and taking flying lessons at 14. Howard Hughes inherited his father fortune upon his death at the age of 19, and was already a millionaire due to his father efforts in pioneering tools in oil drilling. Here’s the first part that I admire about him. He didn’t take the money and go, – I’m a rich fuck now, there is nothing I can’t get. He didn’t choose to slack and sustain his life off on the money, which he could. Instead, he took the money, and made more money with it. Now here’s the second part I like about him. He made money in his areas of interests, with his hobbies. In 1927, at the age of 21, he directed his first theatrical film. He then went on to direct 6 films, which include famous films like Scarface, The Outlaw and Hell’s Angels, the most expensive film being made at that time. Hughes later started on his adventures in aviation, setting several records at that time, for airspeed (flying at 566km/h in the H-1), and completing a flight around the world in just 3 days and 19 hours and setting a record for flying non-stop from Los Angeles to New York in 7 hours 30 mins. He was a pioneer in both making air flights commercial to public, stating that it was safe and reliable, and in aviation itself, setting up Hughes Aircraft and becoming a major shareholder in TWA, one of the largest airline company at that time. However, towards the latter part of his life, he grew extremely reclusive, and his eccentric behaviour only sought to increase the public inquisitive eye. He finally died from kidney failure, having suffered from malnutrition despite being among the richest men in the world. Funny how the men I admire always have an unglamourous end. Despite this he was one of the most colorful men of that century to ever lived, and his brilliance in fields like aviation, films and investing was undoubted. His playboy image and finance wizardry stays on in the hearts of those who remembered him, and those who did not will come to know of a loss of a man named Howard Hughes who lived his life on adventures and chased the things he desired in life.

I believe we can all be men like Howard Hughes, with the capability to change the world, and making history for our own.

What will your legacy be?